Race, Gender, and Consciousness

This sharing  is a culmination of many years of my life and the observations that have been born from it. And it is just a introduction, a start. There is so much I didn't mention, such as the ancient ones, the wisdom of our origin ancestors, and many other aspects. My intention is to speak on the evolution of all Souls in the remembrance of our whole and loving nature. The complexity of the trauma that is held within race is nuanced, and my sharing is not complete. It cannot be complete because I am not speaking every single shade, gender, and culture. But healing is still accessible even in incompleteness. The undeniable space within an energetic field where the script stops, when something can release, and something truly new can open. 

Transcript

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Hey everyone, welcome to the awakeness love podcast and in Isaiah is speaking, I hope you all had a beautiful week. I'm really grateful to be here with you and to have you listening to my sharing today. If you haven't heard my previous podcast, the path of the heart, I recommend listening to that it was a really beautiful conversation with my dear friend, Magnus Hallberg who lives in north of Sweden. And I really feel it was a really beautiful conversation about love and existence and just being in the spiritual path, a path of deep remembrance. Today, I want to speak about race, gender, and consciousness. Now, this is a very loaded topic. And I'm going to speak about it from as many sides of the shape of race that I am connected with. Now, I don't I don't assume to have all the answers, I don't assume to my perspective, to be right for anyone or everyone. I'm speaking from my perspective. And my intention is to hold as many fractals of this complex experience as honestly as real to my personal experience, and as holding as many people and perspectives as possible, because I feel the conversation of race gets flattened so much, and that flatness isn't necessarily wrong, right? There's a truth to that. But then how can we also create a widening a widening perspective that also has truth, and be in relationship with that? So I might say things that are triggering, I might say things that are wrong for you, or I might say things that are perhaps even wrong for me at certain times, in my being with myself, and it feels right for me other times of being with myself, I hesitate to talk about this, because it's such a complex and nuanced topic. And I really feel that it's alive, like it's a living entity. And I feel like it's, you know, the way race holds a consciousness, especially me coming from the States, there is such a way at once to like, be so strict and steady. And this exactly what it means and my connection with spirit and consciousness, creative fluidity, that that contradicts that and also supports that and also all the things and you know, I have my personal lived experiences being in a black body, growing up where I did and how I did, and yeah, my experience is valid. And, and that is what I'm speaking to today. But also, a lot of parts of my experience may not be resonant to others and pressuring students might be so I'm just preferencing that because I really do feel like it's such a it's such a tumultuous topic. And I feel like that's why so many people in spiritual communities don't talk about it. And but we have to, and we have to be willing to be wrong or incorrect and make mistakes, because it's only going through the field of the land mines that we can really see what's on the other side. And if we just stop and speculate and stare at a and just let one perspective, run the show, we don't actually get to expand and grow. And maybe we'll find that if we trigger a landmine something might blow but it might not mean our death in the way we think it will. Or maybe it will in a way that leads to our greater life. I guess I'm just wanting to share this experience of mine and lean into the courageousness of Yeah, expressing more of what I've experienced. So I'm going to see how this goes. And I'm going to talk about my experience of friction during consciousness from maybe a more linear live to known experience to a perhaps more

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witness like expanded state and then I'm going to attempt to sort of be in the middle of those. I'm gonna say this now and I'm probably gonna say it again. No one thing is right all the time. I really do feel like we're in acidic subjective reality and we end within us our subjective reality. So in one part of our energetic body we could be a racist like we could be showing, like conditioning around how we perceive black brown bodies in the space and action judgments. Another part of us could be so in our power and then love and then and then God inside of us that we really see each other as spirit. And just because we have that one experience doesn't mean we can't also have experiences of when we are, are internalizing and expressing patriarchy and racism and misogyny. And this is sort of the complexity of this, I think most people assume that they are one or the other, like either they're like, completely, just in oneness unity, and are not affected by the conditioning of our society. And they completely don't realize the moments that they can be externalizing racism or misogyny. And then the other perspective is being so caught in this perspective. And so I'm talking about why people are so caught in a perspective of white guilt, or shame or so political correctness, that they're not connected with their own sense of self. So I guess I was specifically talking about white people. And I was thinking about this. And so this is also the challenge or the nuance, because I don't feel because of the way race is held within our collective sphere, I do feel depending on our body, we kind of show up inside of the complexity and unique ways. And there, of course, are very many similarities. But also, I feel that there are many differences. And so there's no one absolute truth like and so for myself and the black brown body, there are moments when I feel so much myself as a soul and spirit, and my brown. So blackness is just another extension of that it's not laden with the history of slavery, and racism, that when I'm in the States, it feels like a sea only thing that's present. And then there's other times when I feel so much the external weight of the black body and like how that is perceived, and how I perceived myself as being a myriad of aspects, and some people perceive me only within the blackness of my skin. And so, even though I know myself as an eternal being, I know myself as soul, it doesn't mean I don't also have times of contraction, when, or rather, it doesn't have to be seen as a negative or positive movement. It's just sitting in the wound that's present within the way race has been lived through in the states and as an extension in the world. And so as I'm speaking, I guess, I just want to give space to how we're all like in flux, and we're on different stages of like unity consciousness, and deep sub separation trauma and races being one expression or iteration iteration of that trauma. Okay, so sharing that I guess I want to, I was going to share first around the just more linear aspects of racism, and i and i gotta say, for me, personally, I, I think also being in Peru, I'm just not really triggered or activated by race, like, it's just, it's just is like, it doesn't, nothing intrinsically has value it only, it's only what we the value we give it to. And so me being black is just a part of me being a part of a diverse and vibrant, natural environment. It doesn't have to mean anything. But you know, in the context of this of certain areas in the world, it can mean a lot of things, but because the way I live, and for the majority, of course, it's come come up in every environment doesn't mean it doesn't come up among the Westerners here. It's just that I'm mostly alone. And they're from mostly myself as soul and existence. And so I'm not really triggered by that. So what I'm going to actually talk about is something that I saw on YouTube a few days ago, so I can like kind of give reference to my own experience. And it's just that I've received like, I've received, I've received racism, like throughout my life. I think that's such a obvious comment, but I think

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if I don't talk about it, people think I haven't experienced it. And I don't you know, is that funny thing of? I'm never not a black woman. But if I'm not speaking to it, am I am I not if I'm not speaking about it? Am I somehow not speaking to it? And yet, of course, I'm seeing like, I must be seen as that. And so anyway. Yeah, I remember when I was. I remember when I was little, I was really light skinned again. than I am now. So I was like young and because I haven't, hadn't yet spent years outside and deserts and farming and all the things I've done that's talking to my skin, my dad would tell me that I'm black. And I would say No daddy and brown, like, I would point to black things like the black TV screen and like black, like the color black. And I was, and I would look at my skin. And I'm like, This color is called a brown. And I'm like, I'm like light brown. My dad's like, no, you're black, because that's how the world will see you. And so therefore, like, that's how, like, that's how you are something like this. And I remember being really confused. And I remember feeling like, but I don't understand, like, the color of my skin is brown, I just don't. And I remember just not grokking it and not also not knowing why it had to be called a color that I wasn't. And I like not understanding identification. And I feel like this was really my first encounter, my first conscious encounter with like race, maybe I experienced quite young, we have this conversation, like maybe 567, somewhere around there. And there are probably instances I've had before, but maybe I wasn't conscious of it. So this is my first conscious understanding of that my body means something to the outside world and define it outside of my own definition. And that definition will mean something to me in my life. And I think that was the thing my dad was trying to impress on me that I was really adamant and I wanted to refuse I was I didn't understand how someone's definition of me could actually impact and have weight on my existence. When it was actually in my mind, not reality, because in reality, the color of my skin is brown, but there is a there's a turn to being black and, and like what the black body means in the consciousness of the states, and then the consciousness of whiteness. And I want to say now I really do feel like whiteness is an energy, it's an energy, and it's an energetic field, that we're all living with him. And it's not necessarily a person, like other white people. But whiteness is something that we all live within. We all have within us, regardless of our skin color. You know, I feel like we are many in the patriarchy. And all of these things are it's not just white men, right? It's not just men. It's, it's an energy by that art that we've all accepted as true. And we all caught me all connotates and respond to ourselves from that. Okay, so I remember the first time I was called out to say the NRA because I don't like saying that word. I was called the N word for the first time. Maybe the only time to my face that I'm aware of. When I was I don't know it was high school. Yeah. It was high school, maybe like freshman or sophomore year. Yeah. And I remember I was in this town called Breezy Point, which is like, very racist. But I went to a Catholic school, like an Irish Catholic school kind of, I grew up in a black neighborhood like predominately black, brown, Hispanic, Jamaican neighborhood, but I always went to schools where there were majority white people. Like I went to Montessori that went to Catholic school. Then I went to a private school in Brooklyn, like on Brooklyn. So yeah, and so a lot of my friends were from, like, white, neat, white neighborhoods. And yeah, and I remember a party, I was like, helping my friend out. And I was I remember I was I was, you know, I was quite confident for many years of my life before. The world crushed me for for about a decade, and then I reemerged again. And that was an, I think, we were having a party at a friend's house and their parents that know the parents, and I was trying to get rid of the tensions and someone said, Shut up. And right. And I was just like, wow, like, no one seems to care. I mean, of course, no one cares. Because like, I mean, that's, that doesn't mean anything to that to those people. They are but I was so

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take are so taken out of my body. You know, I was so Wow, like, I'm so many things and to be called that is just to be the pigmentation. It's like, it's not even just to be seen as a body. It's like just to be seen as a pigmentation. Like as melanin, it's like, it's even, it's like even less than bodies like just the color. It's like for some color, then I'm a body and then I'm a woman and it's it's really, especially when you're so interesting and and multifaceted and fascinating as myself. It's so shocking to the nerve. It just doesn't make sense. You know, and this is my attraction for you. So that means It just doesn't make any sense. But that's you know, that's, that's, that's a trauma response. Like the whole thing is and it doesn't it doesn't make sense. It's Sharma trauma doesn't make sense. You know, it just happens. It's just in our systems. So that was another experience I remember and college I mean, there's many these I'm just saying a few. I remember in college, someone who I said, there was a friend who really wasn't a friend at all, but he's told me that guys don't University didn't like me because I was black. I was like, Okay, I was like, Alright, and also, I didn't know how I really reacted to that I was just one. It's like, one of those things I remember when I wasn't traveling to Thailand are these guys from Scandinavia, and they were just being so racist towards me. It's ridiculous. I couldn't say anything without them making fun of me and kind of putting it within the connotation of like, black speak, or ghetto slang or whatever. And, and it was just like, I couldn't do anything without being a stereotype. And I was so confused. I remember at one time I was babysitting in Manhattan. And since I was in town, I think to this Irish family, actually, and the Son. I would babysit him a few times. And one time we were watching, I think something came on the TV, I don't even know to think you're on TV, I guess. And it was a black person speaking and like slang. And he was in the kid little kid, and he was like seven or eight. He's like, you speak like that. And I was like, excuse me, you know, then I'm asleep. Speak. So speaking in slang because, like, the sheer height, it's like, wait, so I'm like this whole time. You can only hear the color of my skin. Like you actually did not. Because I don't speak like that. I mean, and there's nothing wrong with speaking like that. There's no, I mean, I can't speak like that if I want to. But on the daily I am, I'm not speaking in like ghetto slang. And so for some, and I was like, No, I don't I guess you do. And he was just, this little boy was just so certain. Did I speak in ghetto slang on the daily it's maybe the third or fourth time I babysat him. And I was really? Yeah, like, wow, only the color of my skin is heard. Like, I'm not heard this thing of like color. Like, I'm only a color and the rest of me cannot be perceived. And it's so. Oh, yeah, it's terrible. So yeah, so yeah, I'm just sharing some of these experiences I've had because they're real, it happens like this, like this is something that happens in the world. And yeah, I mean, I have too many of these to share. But I guess I feel I'm wondering if I need to share this last one. Because as soon as I got older, I think the last time now this isn't the last time I was in the states for significant amount of time. But this is the last time I lived in the states before I really started understanding ancestral healing and really working with the energies that's present and this and so this I will share this because this segues me into the next the next x aspect of this which is looking at this from pain and trauma and not within the duality of black white racism. So I run a farm in Vermont but for came to the proof for the first time this is now like four years ago 2017 summer of 2017 from this farm in Vermont and it was a farm no social justice activist retreat center and I was really excited because I had visited before and it really felt like I was at this point I've been farming for years but somehow I feel like I haven't really learned as much as I wanted to and I was you know this in this sense I just felt like I was giving a woman roles which is in gender is a very derivative way of looking at roles and tasks but I was really put to clean and cook and I was and I wanted to be out there really doing farming task but so many times these farms I and sometimes I did sometimes I didn't but also with the nature of my life I guess I just wasn't as in mesh as I wanted to and I really want to learn all the aspects of stuffs being self sustaining there are many aspects of this farm experience that just really didn't resonate with me and and wasn't

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wasn't for me. Okay, so this at this point, I my clairvoyance clairsentience clairaudience aspects are all online. So coming online but are quiet online. I'm quite sensitive to spirits and I was seeing a lot of Native American spirits on the land. And I was feeling a lot of the tensions of culture and race and just like the bloodshed of natives of Native people and I was the only woman on staff knows only black woman for probably, I would say it was always make the joke like 150 mile radius each way probably I mean being in Vermont. And I didn't realize the extent that I would feel bad to, you know, I had someone reflect To me it was like experiencing psychic racism, because it's this thing that happens. But neoliberal people who are very, you know, the best of intentions, but like have this filter inside around blackness or race that creates this weird interaction when there is actually a black person, because so many liberal people living on the East Coast are mostly surrounded by white white people, especially if you're not in a city, like if you're not in a city, it's pretty much white, like, like, there's just not much diversity, and me loving farming and like loving being outside. You know, I'm very much an exception to that. And I would spend time in natural environments. But it was really, this was not very diverse, and it created a lot of tension. I don't, I'm not saying all I'm not like going super into it. One because I really worked better in response, as long as you're asking me a question, I would be able to, like really recall, all the nuances I was experiencing to more detail. And to it's just, it's just not as present for me. But something that would happen there I was, I would work with the woman. And I was like, remember something with my hands and the soil and like feeling the blood and the soil and feeling like the history of the lineage of people that has shed that blood, and then my lineage of people that have received that bloodshed, and this, like feeling the tension, but not really being in the state and myself, like I, at that point, understanding the energetic aspect of this, and being able to put it into words, was not yet present for me. And, and no one is really doing that work, you know, and it really, it was really like the tipping point for me that I just couldn't continue farming and communal living, until I really understood healing until I really understood how to heal myself, and my ancestry and support other people and healing themselves and their ancestry, or else we couldn't really be together because in the silence was so much trauma, especially in the States. And while I was there, when I was first introduced to constellations, someone came and there's this this partner or partner came and they did family constellations, I actually received my first constellation and like, and like ancestry or all things. First time really feeling the pain of my ancestry. Not the first time but like, in a really, I think, the most expensive time I felt the pain of my ancestry. And yeah, it was really powerful, was really powerful, and how much recalling the way my body would just react to the energetic way of being there, and just not having the outlet. So this really land tent lens may bridges me to the next part of this, which is pain and trauma. And so, I have what can be seen as a controversial theory, that when that there is only one pain, like the pain of the perpetrator, victim and bystanders, one, and that this idea that the perpetrator inflicted pain on the victim is isn't is it is in some ways incorrect. If and if we were able to zoom out recognize that everyone in everyone's in pain it's actually the same pain and I feel that when you're able to really sit with that and compassion the hates the ugliness of violence that's like still present especially in places like the state with states where there's so much

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trauma and pain based on culture and pigmentation color of skin has the capacity to actually evolve I received so this is after having a farm and I before I came to Peru for the first time I received this channeled messages just download the full first differ week before I came to work, went to Peru I wrote I couldn't stop writing. I wrote this like massive document. And I was just channeling I was channeling channeling channeling. It's very long. And there's so much to it, I won't really go into it. But something that came through for me in that document was something called empathy thirds, which is something that I teach share, like kind of open up that perspective and my course into soul wisdom and like and generally in my work with people just kind of looking at things and as in Trinity in training energy through trainee consciousness. It's called and like being empathic to that. And what they what I received from the channeling was that What happened in 1492. And this is just one point in history in history, his story in history, and the story of mankind that's gotten us here. And it's not I wouldn't say it's a conception of this, it's just I would feel the most active points within our contemporary story that's activating the what we're in now by wouldn't say it's the conception or origin point, just saying, but I do feel like if we can, like unravel at least back till then we are be so much closer to touching the origin, that it might actually just collapse as one. Because it's a there's a, there's such a deep, it's so deep that it becomes the one place. So anyway, when I heard, it was on 1492, black and white people also, there's many shades in between black and white. And like, I don't mean the content, everything I'm saying it's just that the way words work around this a flat and so many things, it excludes so many people, it include exclude so many ways of being. So I do my best to say black, brown, indigenous, and then, you know, sort of Indian Asian descent, like I'm just saying these words to know that when I say black and white, I'm holding many more people in that. But so anyway, it's not the language is imperfect for the nuance expression of all that we are. And saying that I continue on saying that black and white people didn't black, white people didn't enslave white people don't enslave black people that black and white people entered into a contract with enslavement that we've been living out. So this controversial theory is that it's not that there's like a white person enslaving black people or a woman or people of color indigenous people that actually there's an energy of enslavement, that is holding all of us equally, equally. Okay, so now we're moving into a step out a step behind a step into like spirits, not your tonality. And then from there taking a step forward into the trauma bonds that have been formed and into our ancestry. So if we were to, because we know the pain of the victim, like the pain in the victim is as well. It's well explored, it's well known, but what about the pain of the perpetrator? What about the pain of the white male? What about the pain of the person that held the slave whip in their hand, the pain of that person that was able to

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exhibit such horrors on to others? And it's not to excuse their actions. It's just actually how do we pop out of the cycle? How do we stop blaming another for the pain that we all feel, because that hasn't helped us be in a solution that has only really, in so many details, exacerbated the problem. And I don't, I have not seen from that place that we really have been able to live through an evolutionary solution. So what if, and, and not to excuse it, but to just really, like, allow and sit with the pain of that, of that perpetrators. And like, I'm also the Nazis has also come to mind because like, the pain of the, of what so many cultures have done that, that has genocide, another culture has come through the descendants. So now I feel there's so many people who are descendants of mass of people who have committed mass murders and and like really horrific things that are, insult are written and so much guilt, and pain and suffering, and are actually genetically they've inherited that pain from their ancestry. And even though it creates, I would say, a separation from their selves, a strong dislike of themselves a strong like not deserving to exist in themselves. But what it has also done is still perpetuates the same thing their ancestors are doing, because there is no space to know how to do anything else. There is such a, there is a deep soul loss. In whiteness, like whiteness, and this concept and this energy body, I feel what we're experiencing is a deep soul loss. And in that soul loss, there is a lack of love. And when there's a lack of self love, we know it's almost impossible to learn to truly love another we end up perpetuating the same pain that we're feeling. And once again, this is blanket statements, right? I would say that in the states they're experiencing an epidemic of soul loss, doesn't mean every white person is infected with their soul. Like that is obviously incorrect. And there's so many people who are doing the work to really restore and evolve and remember But I guess I'm really just talking like broad strokes. How do we look at her like the horrors that are being shared through culture, skin color, race, ways of thinking that are different, because like, if you if Nazi Germany, people wear the same color, it's just a different culture and ways of being. And, and those things it really promotes of this, I feel a soul loss. And I, since I feel we all live in whiteness, and we all live in a patriarchy and we all like have been conditioned by that. There's the I feel a cultural statement that we all have a white man inside of us who's lost their soul. And we're all and like, the ways we orient ourselves is always in a knot. This is only in the in like, like one aspect of ourselves. This isn't an all of ourselves, but I feel us in the part of ourselves that really knows our power that really knows her self worth, that really comes into participation in society and knowing that the changes we want to make come from love, and not from harm, and actually feeling confident enough to push change through with love, I feel we have to really reconcile with our white men inside of us. Because right now, with our contemporary society, why the white man is the only thing that produces change, really, you know, there's, slowly slowly things are starting to change, of course, but predominantly, it's like we're built, we're living in a world carved out by white men. And most of this has been done by control, oppression and fear. And how do we form a new society from unity and create harm to our current society, and know that that harm recreating is for deeper harmony, and trusting that if we don't reconcile with the power of perpetration, because no matter? Because every any point of change is a harm for what's presently there? And not everyone will agree with it? But can we trust love enough? Like, can we trust ourselves enough? Can we trust the evolution of nature and of our own hearts enough, and I feel how we come into that trust and self and love is like loving the white male and that's like loving the perpetrator, and therefore reclaiming our power, out of harm and into harmony.

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I feel we're not able to do this, if we're just like blaming and hating on that on the white man, or the perpetrator would have a like, whoever that is, once again, out go into not saying it's not all white men in the moment. If but if we if we're hating on that part of the of the triangle, we're hating on that part of herself. And we're not really able to, like have a strong backbone and to really just, you know, perpetrate and for love in love, like evolve, move forward, like every evolution is a dissolving of something, the rising of something else. Okay, so once again, not all white men, right, like and not all white men. And I say that term because once again, I think the white male is an energetic body. It's like It's like an energetic body that we're all reconciling with and stoked to be a white man you're like, really you're like in the manifestation but energetic body and it can be really challenging to know how to, like have been in your power and not perpetrate? And many times I think white men are perhaps perpetrating within their power but but then we have this overcorrection now of like, hyper feminism and spiritual communities, like all these things, and then we also, you know, it's like, how can you be really soft and really be in the grief of the wounded masculine like the wounded male and like to really allow that to exhale? And an ancestor You know, I've when I was in Massachusetts, I saw I saw see spirits I would see like racist white spirits, who was like shotguns like staring down my staring down at me from like, balconies, and you know, I say this and there's so many I did, I did feel this I did see this, but what was I saying? Was I was that present, like present, as in like that there's there's like, that energy is sitting on those porches? Or was I in some ways, allowing my consciousness to be in many timelines, like was I actually perceiving the late 1800s and like seeing how the late 1800s is layered over 2019 It doesn't matter because either way, it's, I'm saying the same thing, which is that the, the nervous system, of course, 92 of whatever year, like whatever year we want to talk about is still present in the States, and it's still it's still being lived. And therefore, you know, when that person exit the house, they exit through that energy spirit. And they end it's like a part. It's like, it's like in the air, it's in the molecular structure of the states. And like I'm talking about East Coast, because that's where I've lived. I lived in Massachusetts for about half a year I've lived in, I spent more time New York State working in farms. I've spent some time in Vermont, and I'm from Brooklyn, like, so these are places I'm familiar with, I'm not talking about places, I don't know, just the south or the Midwest, or the west coast, because I haven't spent time there. And so when I talk about the states, I do feel that there are generalizations that are applicable. But then I'm also know that there are differences I can't be attuned to because I haven't lived there. And so I'm just also saying that as a caveat. And so yeah, what I'm saying is, can we forgive ourselves, enough for being sympathetic to act to the pain of our ancestors and then exhibiting them? And then can we hold ourselves accountable to the fact that we are exhibiting the pains of our ancestors and not actually perhaps being as equitable or loving to black brown people and women as we think we are, you know, because because, because our nervous system really does not know how to, and because the nervous system that we've all calibrated to is one that is of pain, and so it that so it, like gives sort of like gives that same pain?

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Okay, so I have so many things, I actually don't know where I am, in my trajectory, I've said so many different things around this. And so I want to kind of move into the third energy, which is holding the fact that it was just holding all of it right, because at any one moment, anything can be true, right, we can, like actively notice that we're being racist, and then like, feel guilty, or then feel shame. And then knowing the fullness of I'm talking from a white person's perspective knows the fullness of our worth, and our body and our soul and like know how to be in the power like, like, all these things are happening at once. And so I guess I'm sharing this because I would love if we could all hold a wider perspective in our own individuality. And then, from there hold a wider perspective, as we interact with other people, and really include the field of ants of our ancestors in this and not only from a state of they were wrong or right, but where was their pain? How was their pain present? Where did it come from? And can we really reconnect the system to love so I've have had worked with people who've had ancestors that were racist, or like slave owners or something like this, and are still racist, like, you know, I've met, I've gone into someone's field and if and I've had, I've been in people's fields, where their ancestors called me the N word, like, you know, actively racist, and like, how is that coming through the consciousness of descendant of the person I'm working with? And what and what can you know, as a potential practitioner of like, how I show up is just in deep understanding of the pain that created the schism in that person's consciousness, the call me the N word. Like to, like, there is so much like, who hurt you? Like who hurt you, that you feel that this beautiful human beings standing in front of you is less than you because of pigmentation? Like Where is that coming from the energy of enslavement? There's an energy of enslavement that I don't feel belongs to any one body culture, gender, anything it's it's it's beyond and it's and it's coming through all of us and it's showing up in this one way. But if we can go beyond that we can free ourselves I feel from that energy and really reconcile the pain go through the grief and actually meet like actually meet each other as humans, humans. Humans first you know, like like cute like cute like really a humans first. So what happens like I've been so I'm just going to share a bit of what happens when I meet these ancestors that are happened slave owners or racists or something like this. It's I mean, it's it's it's what I always say is a magician miracle of healing like there's something guy that can metamorphosis I don't quite understand like sometimes there's a literal story. And so one thing I do one thing that sounds like what's behind this, like, who like what happened and usually usually it's someone else that came in since they bought ancestry in some way or they have known pain or sexual assault and then it's and then that same lineage did it to another I've also witnessed like something I can't understand which is just like an energy like literally an energy and so you know, I we can show go into alternative timelines and like other species and other beings really influencing the human race, but I I really hesitate. I think even in the sessions unless it comes really clear, it's always just like an energy because it's never to give our power away. So now at first, you're going to blame white people, now we're going to blame the aliens. It's like, no, it's not, it's like, we really have to take ownership of the ways we are our ways of holding our victimhood and blaming, and really take that autonomy to be in enough self love and self trust to like, move forward. But just recognizing that our our species has been influenced by it really has by energy is that I can I can say theories, but actually don't think they're worthwhile because I don't claim to know the truth, I just can recognize something came in that kind of worded, and, and one in one person's lineage, it was sort of like, a fear,

0:00  
I think even in the sessions unless it comes really clear, it's always just like an energy because it's never to give our power away. So now at first, you're going to blame white people, now we're going to blame the aliens. It's like, no, it's not, it's like, we really have to take ownership of the ways we are our ways of holding our victimhood and blaming, and really take that autonomy to be enough self love and self trust to like, move forward. But just recognizing that our our species has been influenced by it really has by energy is that I can I can say theories, but actually don't think they're worthwhile because I don't claim to know the truth, I just can recognize something came in that kind of worded, and, and one in one person's lineage, it was sort of like, a fear, a fear of knowing the self as God like that, and that there's such a responsibility to knowing the self as, as creator, and what for whatever reason is like, why would that responsibly create fear, but there is a schism, there is this thing, something happened in that and that created a separation from source and that separation became, like a fractal into, into the lineage in a specific way, like valuing superficial reality. And like fearing connection with spirit is just one example. Like, there's so many, there's so many of them, that can happen, but also sometimes just like, standing there, I think. So history repeats itself, right, and so are so if there's, if there is a rhetoric that has come through the pipeline, the system wants to reset itself to that rhetoric. So sometimes me just being in my being in a black body and holding the consciousness that I do, and like just looking at their pain dissolves the racism or dissolve something, there's a, there's a, there's an alchemy, that happens just because there's the there's the tone, like there's a signature tone that comes through my skin, it comes through my ancestry that comes through your skin, and comes through your ancestry. And when we stand and like that divine code, and we don't allow the system to repeat itself, it like, it can't help reset itself, like it opens and alchemize is and it's just kind of happens immediately this remembrance, so there's so many ways that that could happen. And so, um, cuz I'm talking from the lineage of the oppressor. And so from the lineage of the of the victim, you know, and this is where all all of these things, this is just talking in very general terms, like so I come from a lineage that has been victimized in so many ways. And then I also connect, I think, to the, like, a collective imprint, just being in the black body born in the States, because my parents were born, or, and from Central America, and so I'm Hispanic. So there's, like, you know, there's all these variants to this. But I feel like I have kind of an imprint of slavery, just being black and being born in the States, even if that's not in my known lineage in a very clear way. It's like kind of in my skin, like the soul of blackness, you know. And so from that, there's a lot of just like standing a one's power and autonomy and like standing up, it's kind of wised up before it's like standing up to the slave owner. In within this is like an energetic history, and also a lot of socialists connecting to timelines where this doesn't happen. Like I know, in one of my fields of consciousness, something happened like this actually happened over the course of a year, but it's like, there's just one. I was on my mother's side, it was an island, it felt like, like, near like the Caribbean island. And they're sugarcane. And some I did a sugar detox where I don't have any sugar for a month and like something happened, I tuned back in, and basically, all the slaves or all the black people there had jumped into another timeline. And, and so when the slave owners came back, the island was empty, you know, like magical things like this kind of resetting our nervous systems to true liberation, and disconnecting, disconnecting timelines from enslavement and connecting to timelines of beautiful natural beingness where we were we don't have to interact and the victim perpetrator bystandard dynamic. This, to me is quantum healing. It's we don't only heal the present connect to the future, we want to be changed the past because I really feel in so many ways. The only way to meet our desired future is to live from our desired past and to actually energetically change where we have come from so that we can change where we are going to.

4:54  
I feel complete. I feel like that was a really beautiful note to end on, and I feel that there is so much I can say about this. And there are so many nuances, I do feel just like in reflecting of the words I've used that I did my best to really talk from a broad perspective and also this talk from what's true of like, what, like what happens in general, like generalizations of white men, black woman, Molly does like white woman, with all the things, you know, I think I did my best to talk in the generalizations that we're seeing, but then also to highlight the nuances that are present, to talk like what's happening, and then talk about what could happen, and to just be as inclusionary as possible and to not be as not to be super definitive, but to really be expansive, I, I think I did my best to do that. There's so much I could say about this. And I, I really love working with the intersection of spirit, culture. And like the, like the body of race, gender, culture, and then the consciousness and spirit that is eternal. Regardless of these things, I like that there's, there's and you know, a lot of constellations, systemic family constellations, it depends on how the practitioner works. This, I feel like that. modality has informed a lot of my understanding of how to be in that field. And then my own practice and knowing it's like, his compassion, like to really see that field and compassion, to let all of it be to let someone be racist, to not fight it. Because it's presence, we had I energetically in that field, unlike answers was calling me the N word. I have to be porous enough and loving enough, just let that be. And then and then the pain surfaces. That grief anger. And it's not, not to make anything right or wrong. It's just like, Can we really be present with what is so that what is can have a chance to alchemize you know, and to and, and it's like really holding something in the field of compassion. It's, it's, it's like something cat or man, I really do feel that way. And believe that and that's my daily practice. So in my life, so that's one thing, right? When I'm in that field of facilitation, and I'm holding that space, I'm in that auric field and I can feel my ancestors holding me I'm not alone in that space. I'm what so many beings of love and light and consciousness and so when I say can I hold that space, it's more like I'm being held by that space. Rather, I'm not have to hold it, I'm leaning into love, and love holds the space. And so it's my practice now for when people say super comments to me, when I go on the street, you know, and it's not no such thing of like job and blah, blah, blah, but it's how much can I be and be held in the field of love to let love lead and that love speech and doesn't mean I don't get angry doesn't mean I don't feel sad. I don't know what it means. It just means I get to my practice. It's really the practice of holding the wider perspective like as myself with myself for myself, and like seeding fields of true equity and healing and alchemy and transformation. So, thank you for listening. I wonder, you know, how offensive or non offensive this was,

8:43  
I

8:46  
I will post this it I'm nervous, too. You know, it's like, but I need to, I need to and because I'm not I don't I wasn't perfect like i'm not i'm not going to be able to express all nuances of this very complex theme perfectly. But I'm, I'm here to make an attempt. And every time I speak honestly and I do my best it's it's the attempt of the hearts it's the attempt of love to come through something that has formed so tightly around itself and decided itself to be true and it just doesn't need to be so. Thank you so much for listening with me. And yeah, I look forward to continuing this conversation however it it is inspired to be continued. Blessings to you and reach out if something I said resonates with you reach out if you want to work with like your ancestral field and also the more expansive light field of the ancestors in March something last last thing I'll say in March. On COVID started me really shifted, you know, really shifted timelines into what I feel is one of awakening, I felt something was activated, which I caught, which I see as a golden realm of the ancestors. There's a lot of ancestral pain and trauma we have inherited but there's also a lot of ancestral wisdom and power and excellence and and just the guidance that's so beautiful. And that's present. And I feel we have the chance to sort of transmute the trauma timeline into the the exalted golden timeline that is our desired past that connects us with our desired future that is one in some way. So if this resonates with you, and is and you're curious about the movement of your own ancestry and like all ancestry from African to Irish, to European, to Asian, to Indian to Russian, I think I've worked with the whole globe. I have Yeah, I think I've worked with like people in the polls or like Greenland, yet, but, yeah, Iceland. I've been to people in Iceland. So I mean, I really, it's an it's so rich, you know, to like, feel the spirits of the land all over the world. It's something I and I deeply I'm deeply grateful that I get to share and be with. Okay, so much love to you, and until next time,